What would my life be life if I fully embraced my potential?
If I no longer allowed myself to be my own greatest hurdle to jump over, and instead became my biggest cheerleader?
I have the should of an artist, crushed by years of distracting myself from the beauty of my emotions.
Labeled as too sensitive. Over reactive. and touchy led me to believe that I was broken.
At fault for others inability to connect to me at my level.
I have used everything to avoid embracing whO I am at my core.
To accept every emotion. Every moment of my life as mine and perfectly imperfect.
I have people pleased my way to exhaustion. Worked myself numb. Loved so fiercely that I had nothing left to give.
Too tired to do the work so desperately, so lovingly needed for myself to grow in everyday I have been avoiding, and every way necessary.
Blinded by the lights of a screen watching life pass by one commercial break at a time.
Endless scrolling through photos of judgment and comparison.
I have woken up.
I have woken up before, but fell back asleep.
Taking pills to keep myself in REM so that I wouldn’t have to rise into the discomfort of living.
The world has been calling me, and I have ignored her cries, replacing them with the positive words of humans no longer sharing space with me.
She has stayed, where all others have vanished.
I have taken her love for granted when all she did was love me. support me. keep me alive.
I cursed her.
Her wet days.
Her hot nights.
How short sighted I was to not see what was right in front of me all along.
I want to crawl back inside her loving embrace. I want to heal her how she has so beautifully healed me time and time again.
It was to her where I retreated.
To her beautiful streams. Her Tall Forrests. Her Desolate deserts. Her womb-like jungles.
The heavy aromas of her flowers taught me to breathe.
The frigid waters reminded me I was alive.
Her lonely deserts showed me the impermanence of life.
Her ivy jungles allowed me to begin again.
Her cries now cannot be ignored. For her cries are my cries.
I hear so clearly now, what was once so faint.
TRUST YOUR GUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
YOU ARE LOVED.